Laughing at Trouble in USA

smiling-chartAmerican stock exchange is having trouble lately but that doesn’t stop people from being humorous with the huge sell-off. This time it was a comment left at a Yahoo article about declined IPOs due to the current instability of the markets. It appears that only one company has gone public in August, compared to 8 launched in the last week of July. This fact proves the lack of investors’ trust nowadays probably waiting the dust to settle down. Still, dramatic financial events have often become an inspiration for conversations leading more often than not to people having a laugh of the situation. Here’s the comment that might put a smile on your face, even if you hold some stocks in today’s volatile market.

The current down trend in the USA economy has hit everybody really hard:

  • My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
  • Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
  • CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
  • Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
  • A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
  • I saw a fundamentalist Mormon with only one wife.
  • If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
  • McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
  • Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
  • Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
  • My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
  • A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
  • A picture is now only worth 200 words.
  • When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
  • The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates. And, finally…
  • I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc. I called the Suicide Hotline and got a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.